Fragment of Time
by Hodgerhosen
Summary: Oneshot around episode five of season two Madame Pompadour reflects on her experiences with the Doctor. This is my first Doctor Who fic, so I hope you enjoy!


((Hey guys! This is my first Doctor Who fic and the first fanfic I've written in a loooong time, so please be nice. Madame de Pompadour may be kinda out of character, so sorry. In reference to the bit about the reflected light taking a long time to reach other worlds, knowledge that I don't think she would have had in the eighteenth century, I'm just sort of assuming that the doctor explained it to her— well, read on and hopefully enjoy!!))

Fragment of Time

That face I first saw through the fireplace in my childhood bedroom. It was the face of a man who was destined to intertwine himself into the structure of my life. He was my savior, my idol, my first love. He still holds the deepest place in my heart. My adoration of that lonely man has shaped every decision in my life, and I long for him to return to me again, at least once more; if only just once, I might be satisfied. And yet I know that for every visit he pays me, my love for him grows stronger still. And as I stand in front of my childhood fireplace, I feel as though I will never see the face of that man again. I know that as my life has regained its normalcy, it lost the magic that bound him to me. I knew the night that he stepped back through that fireplace, even as the wall spun and he smiled so warmly, as the light of the sun vanished through the wall, the specter would not return.

Dusk. It is one of many nights I spend in my bedroom, gazing at the wall before me, the broken clock on the mantle, the ornate pattern of the molding, the softly crackling flames resting in the hearth. Shadows play across the walls, reminding me of that dance we shared one lonely night, because even a time lord must learn how to dance. You refused me, but I knew that if you left, I would endure many more years before gaining another opportunity, if it would come at all. And you relented, so softly, so delicately you cradled me, learning to grip the blade of my shoulder, to lead me in a gentle and foreign dance around the intimate space of the room. Our music was our breath, our beat the passionate drumming of my heart, of yours. And I lost myself, enshrouded in warmth, stepping back, trusting, feeling, following the rhythm of our harmony. Hours passed, slipping onward, my time shorter each moment than the moment before. I clutched you to me, knowing that you might slip away even as the hours on my broken clock. How I wished time would have stopped for me, too. How I still wish for eternity in a tiny room, a never-ending dance.

Midnight. The stars twinkle in the sky. Clouds obscure my view to some extent, but I keep at my task. It has been my undertaking for the last three years. The perfect star. If I can only see it, I'll know. Wherever you are, alone in the night sky, perhaps the light of my world will reach your eyes. The light reflected as you watch so long from now, for the rest of existence, I know that for every night I stand out in this dark field, I increase the chance that you will see my light, that you will see the effect of my time, an ancient light which travels so far, seeking you. That I could join it, that I might run with it to you some day, that I could stay with you. But how can a piece of the whole be worthy of that which it is a part of. You are time, and I am a piece, but perhaps when time no longer enslaves me I will be free to befriend you, love you, as equals. Until that day I will continue to gaze at the dark sky, alight, waiting until I find you.

Dawn. While some may regard my life as being at its twilight, I see it as the dawn. With the breaking of light, my shadowed existence will be illuminated, understanding will rein, existence made clear. And maybe the knowledge is intrinsic, a part of my soul that I will never meet in this life. My physical sight is dim, but my spirit is restless, pushing against the bonds which restrain it to my form, straining for freedom and you. And the barrier is broken, the light reaching from over the horizon to brighten the dimness of my human life, to make sense of it. And the light which makes its way over the earth melds with me, lifting me from my bonds. I am weightless, running with the radiance of the sun's reflection, to find that star where in many thousands of years, a concept which no longer has meaning to me, I will be reunited with you again, and no longer subject to that which separates you from the living. I am taken back to that cold night, warm hands gripping my face, shielding me from the monsters beneath my bed. A simple kind of love fills me, easy, natural, and unconditional.

(Hey, I hope you enjoyed that. I know it had a weird ending. If you would like to review………*coughhinthintcoughcough*)


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